Today is an anniversary. Today is the 10th anniversary of this blog and of my life outside of Quebec. Today is also the day where I had a bit of a revelation. Therefore, today is a perfect day to publish a post, something I haven’t done since the autumn!
Today, I got out of a long period of stillness where life had stopped flowing freely into me, where chronic back tension and pain had become a major road block. Today, I came to understand why this crash happened, why my vital force had been held prisoner of my own soul and body.
It had been for a long time, it had been forever, but my experience in California had put lights on it in an entire new way. My time in California acquainted me with this idea of « healing ». It prompted to the forefront the connection between the body and the mind as well as all the needs I had denied myself for a very long time. It made me see how disconnected I was from my body and the sensations living in it and how my body had internalized years of lack and fear. Fear of reaching out, fear of asking, fear of receiving, fear of loving, fear of being loved.
The bottom has been reached and I have finally found the support and the strength needed for me to see what there is to see, for me to open up to life, to accept to be truly alive and embodied. This morning, I realized that love was meant to flow through me, that I couldn’t hold it in nor keep it out. This morning, I truly saw how these barricades I had built around my heart had prevented me from being alive.
On this special anniversary, here are some words I would like to share with you, here are the words that resonated with my core this morning and I share them in hope they might as well resonate with you.
Love is meant to flow.
You can’t hold it in, you can’t keep it out.
Love has to circulate, that’s its nature.
Do not fear it, nor try to make it captive.
Love is a free flow, love is a dance.
Let it swirl through you, let it color you.
Let it visit you, let it change you.
Love will always flow, nothing you can do about it.
Simply embrace it because this flow is life,
and therefore, your most precious gift.